Hur man möter en mamma review

The reader follows along as the two men start speed-dating and eventually go on longer dates with women where they discuss practical matters regarding producing and raising a child. At the same time, Kaj explores his fundamentalist Christian background, painful aspects of his childhood, his strained family relationships, a health scare (which involves rather in-depth descriptions of him masturbating and the texture and colour of his semen), and both his and Niko’s work joys and stresses. Korkea-aho paints a full picture of life outside the norms and how challenging it can be to accept oneself, to find support in society and to start a family, even in present-day Finland, which is relatively liberal in comparison to many other countries.

Korkea-aho is unsparing when it comes to details and does not shy away from topics that could make him seem unsympathetic, such as his views about how he wants his DNA to be passed on, or his tricky relationship with his mother, or his apparent lack of understanding for the fact that a woman who has gone through pregnancy and labour might not be prepared to share guardianship of the child 50/50, especially in the early months or years. There are times when this can seem off-putting, but it is helpful to get insight into his thought process. Also, despite some readers potentially disagreeing with him or finding him selfish, it is hard not to wish him and Niko well and to hope they do meet the mother of their dreams and come up with a way to create a family with her.

It does not spoil the book or its trajectory when it becomes clear to readers that Kaj and Niko do manage to find a woman and to become co-parents with her, because the journey is nonetheless interesting and moving. Korkea-aho’s writing style is both accessible and novelistic, with well-chosen words that make readers want to continue the book and find out what happens in the lives of the two men. There aren’t enough books available that explore non-norm families, their creation and their impact on how people understand the concepts of family or parenthood, and Korkea-aho’s memoir helps to fill this gap.